Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
