no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
dude. I can hear the air.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
