the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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