so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
