I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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