goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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