I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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