i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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