How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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