she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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