3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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