Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize