this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
