i already hear my dad disowning me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
