I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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