he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
