Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
