I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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