I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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