jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
