i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
