That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
