You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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