I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
