That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
