oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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