dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We have so much sex to catch up on
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
