the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
