so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
