I want to walk on stilts...naked
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize