he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
