People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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