i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
