it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
