Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
