eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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