I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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