it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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