Rock
Scissors
Fuck
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
