is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
