I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
