on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
