your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
