Do you still have your period?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
