i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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