I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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