Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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