I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
