I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
