Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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