ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
