i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
