I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
