No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize