Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
