when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my being single is dangerous.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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