No awkward lesbian experiences without me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
