Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
