don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
