I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
