So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
