I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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