Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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