New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize