we made out on top of his cat.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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