Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
