To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
