Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
