problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
